he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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