I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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