For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Randomize
