He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
