First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Randomize