My brain says no but my pants say off.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
