its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
