im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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