R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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