69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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