I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
this will be a night to untag.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
