i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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