i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize