Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize