I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
