My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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