He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
