All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
