Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
You dont lie about slip and slides
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
