Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
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