we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
He did a backflip because drugs
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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