My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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