Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
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