I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Randomize
