I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
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