Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Randomize
