I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
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