she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Randomize
