From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
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