You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Your penis caused this!
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
