Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Randomize
