Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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