really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Randomize
