Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
