You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
