Where did you get a picture of my penis
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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