so explain again why im purple
no
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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