Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
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