Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
Green mimosas i think yes
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Randomize
