i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
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