My hand turned me down
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
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