thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
