New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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