i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
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