Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Randomize
