Heybabeimwearingurpanties
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
