well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
