she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Randomize