I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Randomize
