home. puking in laundry basket.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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