I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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