The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Randomize