i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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