do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
