I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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