Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
