the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
