btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Randomize
