i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
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