I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
